Posted By: Silja Litvin - April 18, 2016
Do you know that feeling to meet someone really special online? When the first curiosity turns into a flutter of hope, a happy smile when your phone or computer blimps - followed by nightly facetime sessions. From there on all you do is planning a true, real-life meeting. Oh how wonderful will this person be who understands you so well, who makes you smile to yourself all day and had you develop carpal tunnel syndrome at your typing thumb. Surely, you will fall madly in love and finally be happy – sorry, I meant fall even more in love.
And finally that day comes. You prepare, you undergo beauty procedures you never thought you would do to yourself, after all, back hair is sexy, right?! And a little upper lip fluff never hurt a girl, or? But – you don’t want to take any risk. So there you are all polished and scented and in comes he/she half a foot smaller, 2 stones bigger and way more awkward then mentioned in all those hours of exchange. Of all the things running through your mind a thought pops up: respect to his/her selfie skills.
That is when you start questioning yourself: exactly how superficial are you? Would 5 inches have been OK, but the half-foot is killing you? Could you have managed overlooking one extra stone, but not two? Are sweaty palms and awkward body language really that bad? And what happened to all those butterflies? - That is the same person you saw yourself playing the keys off with ‘League of Legends’ just a few minutes ago, and now you feel so betrayed and resentful you’re going to block them on every social media site you have as well as on those you haven’t been chatting. You’ll probably change your name and move away, too.
If that scenario made you shudder, lets crank it up a notch:
So there you are, all polished and scented and in comes he/she all shiny and pretty… Your gaze meets and then you can practically see the light in his/her eyes get snuffed out. What happened? Are you the catfish? Could it be?
If that didn’t make you shudder, here are the five top tips of how to catfish someone:
Following the 5 top tips can lead you to a lot of lovely situations other than catfishing your new online romance - they will help you alienate friends and get dumped by lovers. Assuming those goals were not your new year’s resolutions for 2016, I can only say: sit tight and do the exact opposite of them. It’s not easy to meet new people, make new friends or fall in love, and even the best of us are riddled with insecurities. But we can always strive to be the best version of ourselves, baldness and diabetic cat included. The more we learn to reflect upon ourselves and embrace what we think are flaws, the sooner we will meet someone who has a thing for free flowing fluffs. Because open, unapologetic acceptance of oneself is the most beautiful of all.