First Contact, or: The Horror of Being First to Reach Out

Posted By: Silja - August 21, 2018

First Contact

Or: The Horror of Being First to Reach Out.

It’s a day like any other, you are idly browsing through GamerDating when a profile catches your attention: a good-looking individual who plays the same games, has a funny yet smart blurb and lives in the same area as you?

Ok, it’s on.

Donkey Kong is not a good role model for starting relationships especially with budding princesses

You find yourself smiling back at their picture, imagining what said individual would look like in real life, and whether they were as lovely as you think they would be.

You 1up them, browse on but find yourself coming back to the profile over and over again. You have to admit – you want to meet them! BUT, now that you have been thinking about them, and you really want to meet them, expectations are high, and that fear sets in… Fear of the ugliest word of them all: Rejection.

How in the world can you make sure that reaching out goes well? How can you break the ice, charm their socks off and make them want to meet you?

What is the magic formula of First Contact?

Yu gi oh isn’t my thing so if this is a good card I don’t recommend playing it during a date unless of course you're an actual dark magician in which case you don't need my advice.

Well, dear Reader, allow me to burst your bubble: there is no such formula. Research shows that people can be superficial little fruit flies, and the best investment you can make for your profile is a picture that makes you as attractive as possible without catfishing unsuspecting visitors.

People will respond to a contact request from a person who has a good profile picture 64% more likely than one without.

Sad as that is, there are still ways to get attention while we’re waiting for inner values and personality to become en vogue - and remember you have a significant advantage, you're both gamers duh! So here's what you've been waiting for:

While fun, Bubble Bobble isn't great training for popping these misconceptions

 

The 3 good-as-magic ingredients to successful first contact attempts:

 

  • 1. Freaking read their profile. Mass “Hey” messages may get you a statistical response rate, but not the person of your dreams. Me? I delete the message, and most likely unfriend or block the person. Aint nobody got time for a “Hey” person.

    Read their profile! They like crafting hemp Sherpa ponchos?! Comment on that. They do barefoot water-skiing? Great opening topic. They like kittens and Half life 2? Well, if you can’t find something nice to say about that, I’m not sure this article will be the one to help you. Seriously how can you not like Half life 2... That being said, has Xen come out for Black Mesa yet?

    I digress...

    People crave to been seen and heard. More often than not they will give you the time of day if they feel you really are interested in what they have to say.

     
  • 2. Be funny. So you want to comment on potential hemp ponchos because you get it, but there is nothing in the profile but their picture and games-list? Here’s a great one, make up an answer to a fictitious profile text:

    “Your profile doesn’t say so, but by the look in your eyes I can tell you breed and race snails. I’m very passionate about that, too, and suggest we meet to see if your champion can best my Sir Slime-a-Lot.”

    …You know what I mean: just unleash your own brand of fun. Studies show that if you can make them laugh, you’re halfway to their heart. Also great: make fun of yourself. I’ve always found Brits are the champs of self-deprecating humour, it cracks me up to no end, so if you have that talent, share it with your chosen!

 

Chaos isn’t for me but I can see Khornes got you hooked and well when I said Chosen I didn’t mean…. Ok maybe I’ll skip this guy’s profile…

 

  • 3. Be vulnerable. You’re bad at reaching out? You’re worried you come across as weird? Share that in small doses. Keeping it ‘real’ and authentic will make it easier for people to connect with you and self-disclosure works wonders on relationships. Having the belief that you need to appear cool, aloof and distant to seem attractive is only partially true: and that’s only when it represents giving the person of your affection the space to develop a healthy relationship in their own time.
     

With that in mind I wish you good luck and have fun: it’s a jungle out there, but jungles can be fun!

(I would continue to advise avoiding however gardens of Nurgle).